Lifestyle

Where Have I been? A New Blog?

It has been such a long time since I have written on here, almost two months to the day! this has been for many reasons but the main one being that my mental health had took a bit of a turn, and my motivation and desire to write was just not there anymore.

But that being said in the past few days something has clicked in me, I started to really miss writing and creating content for you, and as a result my mind started to think about the future of lifewithfernie.com and the sort of topics I would love to talk about in upcoming posts. I feel as if I want to make a few changes to my blog and focus on what I really want to create rather than what I believe you would want to read about.

If I am being honest with you, before my break from bogging I feel as if my love for blogging had deteriorated a little. I got myself so caught up in how can this make money, or what posts will get me the most views and this resulted in loosing why I really enjoyed blogging to begin with. I feel as if I lost my spark and individuality and I am so ready to bring that all back!

blogging means so much to me, its a chance to sit back and relax and the end of a busy day or share experiences and thoughts with you, maybe even give you some advice and tips and tricks along the way also. Blogging is not my full time job its my hobby and I love it for just that.

I hope to publish one post a week at 3.00pm on Saturdays, previously writing multiple posts a week amounted to so much pressure and stress and it just was not enjoyable anymore. For now one post a week sounds perfect for me and I am excited for what’s to come in the future!

I hope what I am saying kind of makes sense? I have written and re written this post so many times its all starting to look the same haha! I wanted to end this post with what I have planned for future posts, I feel like this is the perfect time to sort of re launch my blog and write about topics I am truly passionate about and interested in. If you want to keep up to date with me I would love it if you would subscribe to me, don’t feel you have to though ❤

 Posts to expect from Lifewithfernie.com

  • Days In The life
  •  Recipe’s
  • Organisation And Cleaning
  • Womens Health
  •  Living Eco-Friendly
  • Mental Health

These are obviously very brief descriptions of what is to come and I would love to hear what you would like to see more off in the upcoming weeks

Love Fern

xx

 

 

 

 

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Keeping Healthy

My Weight Journey And Primark Haul

And Breathe…This is by far one of the Hardest posts to write about for a number of reasons. This post I have had planned for sometime however never felt confident enough to do so. In all honesty I still do not feel to confident about the idea but I need to start stretching my self so here I am sharing with you my Fitness and weight loss journey.

It all started back in April 2017, by this point my mental health was really struggling (you can read all about that here) and during a routine doctors appointment I was told I was obese and that had to change. I knew I had gained a lot of weight from being in such a  low mood meaning that I entered into horrid comfort eating cycle resulting in a Huge weight gain. At my heaviest I weighed 11 Stone 6 pounds I had to change. I had looked into Weight Watchers and loved the idea and loved the results I saw others receiving. I joined the “Online Only plan” and it worked a treats! In 4 months I had lost nearly two stone and I was on cloud 9! I had dropped 2 dress sizes and people started to compliment how good I looked. I felt amazing and my mental health and skin dramatically improved. I have also written a post about my skin story you can find that here too.

I reached a healthy 9 stone 9 and I swore I would never put the weight on again. However two holidays later, a new job in a food shop and moving house has resulted in a weight gain. I am now back up to 10 Stone 10 pounds  and I am so disappointed in myself. But from today that stops! I have treated myself to some lovely new workout clothes and have started to calorie count. Weight Watchers was amazing however I now feel like it wasn’t a lifestyle change and that is exactly what I need.

These Pictures were taken exactly a year apart. It shows me at my heaviest and lightest. I also happen to be wearing the exact same outfit in both pictures and I still cant believe the difference.

I am so ready to Re-start my weight loss journey again but first I needed some new work out clothes so I headed to Primark and filled a basket with lots of new items that have definitely motivated me to move more and eat less! I am sharing the pictures below for two main reasons;

A- To show my new workout clothes and what they look like on me

B- To document what my body looked like at the beginning of my weight loss journey, I suppose we could call these my “Before” pictures.

 

Trainers 

IMG_0163.JPGThese trainers were an absolute bargain. I paid just £12 for them and they are super comfy. I do however wish I brought a smaller size as they have come up rather big. I adore the combination of pink and grey at the moment so I instantly fell in love with them.

 

Outfit One

IMG_0138IMG_0156I never thought I would like this colour as much as I do. These turquoise patterned leggings are lovely though. I brought these leggings for £8 in size medium so they are a little tight however I figured when the weight starts coming off I still would like them to fit. I also brought the matching sports bra for £5 and it feels a really strong material and feels like it will give me enough support. To finish this set I saw that there was a matching Jacket. I also picked this up in a slightly small size so it will last me. I paid £10 for this jacket and its worth so much more than that!

Outfit Two

IMG_0125I love the combination of grey and pink so when I saw this top I instantly picked it up! I picked this up in a medium and once again it is a little tight IMG_0126but wont be for long! I love the fact this this top actually comes in two parts so can be worn as two separates which I love because I am not entirely sure I love the grey crop top on me. This set was just £7 so a real bargain! To match this I picked up these grey leggings for £8. These fit me lovely and are super comfy too. I am a happy bunny.

Top

IMG_0152When I saw that this top was just £3.50 I picked it up. This top is a super tight fit. this is something I usually always avoid however I brought his piece to help motivate me further. I also picked this up in a size medium. I love that I can match this top to any of the leggings I picked up to and for just £3.50 I thought it was a such a good price not to be ignored.

 

I hope you have found this post somewhat interesting to read and if you have any tips or tricks for loosing weight then please let me know! I will be updating you all on twitter about how I am getting on with this so make sure your following me on there  @LifeWithFernie.

Cheerio For Now,

Fern

xxx

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mental health

Mental Health And Me…

This is a completely different post to what I would normally write. It’s not a happy post but something I really want to share with all of you. Although hard to write I feel so proud of myself for being in a position to feel strong enough to publish knowing that I have overcome so much in the past year.

mental illness

This is my Mental Health Journey….

From birth I have suffered from separation anxiety from my father. My father was a stay at home dad while my mum went to work he was there 24/7 I was never without him. I would jump if he left the room from as young as 2 months old, then as I got older my anxiety became more apparent. I would scream on the way to nursery and scream until he picked me up at the end of the day. My separation anxiety was clear for everyone to see.

Years went by, I was a quite child often silent or spoke in whisper even to close family. I never had friends and often played on my own or parallel to other children. I just wanted to blend in. I often got upset that I didn’t have any friends and I played on my own a lot however in truth I didn’t want friends or to play with others. I was scared and I thought this was normal.

By the age of 11 I had one girl that I could consider my friend she helped me come out of my shell and I looked up to her. I wanted to be just like her I remember telling my Nan. I was pleased that I was no longer on my own however I could not be happy I was forever worrying that she never liked me I was constantly in a state of paranoia.

I was lucky to get into the same secondary school as my friend. To me this was comforting and it made the transition from primary to secondary school smoother. I was growing in confidence and hormones took over my body. By this point it was as if I was a new person. I was loud cocky and outspoken, often getting in trouble with teachers for talking back to them. I started to have a wide circle of friends and on the surface I was happy however inside I was breaking.

My mind continued to fill with paranoia about every situation I was in, I was anxious and scared but I put a brave face on it. I couldn’t let anyone to know that I couldn’t cope. I needed everyone to think I was normal. During the same time I was being bullied, by older students and girls I considered my friends. I continued to come across strong however when I got home I would break often crying myself to sleep and wishing I was invisible. I stopped going into classes during my GCSEs years as it was just too much for me. I couldn’t pretend anymore. I was broken.

College came around and my anxieties grew, after being bullied again by another group of girls I considered to call my friends I was put on my first lot of antidepressants, offered weekly counselling and I was diagnosed with socialised anxiety disorder. College was tough but I got through it. My family and boyfriend was so supportive and thanks to them dragging me into college kicking and screaming I passed my course with a merit.

Two years went by and I continued putting a brave, happy confident face on but inside I was slowly shattering into a thousand pieces. By December 2016 I had a breakdown. I could no longer cope anymore, all the bullying, anxiety and paranoia that I had ever experienced erupted, I felt weak and I was in a very dark place. I knew there was people there to help but I didn’t want it. My brain was telling me I deserved it and I believed it.

By the February I was suffering with a multitude of anxieties including acrophobia I was placed on four different kinds of anti-depressants and the NHS offered me cognitive behavioural therapy but none of it worked. I felt as if I was ill, I felt I was never going to get better and my brain didn’t work properly. After five months of feeling this way I needed something to change.

May 2017 I went on holiday with my partner and his family. This was the first time I felt truly happy and that had a domino effect on my anxiety. I felt my happiness was stronger than the anxieties which enabled me to start engaging with the waiting staff and talking to the cashiers at the shop my social anxiety was being managed by my happiness, and this was something I planned to continue.

From then on I made it my mission to find happiness in everything I did, push myself a little every day and reward my small achievements. Little by little I was leaving the house on my own and doing simple tasks such as going to the shops. With every small milestone I achieved it motivated me to do more. It was hard and at times I would cry and revert back to the dark times but I felt strong and finding things that made me happy made all the difference. I started to live a healthier lifestyle and lose weight I gained during the dark times and this gave me even more motivation. I felt on top of the world and although my anxiety was still there, it was in a locked box under control.
A few months later My family told me that for years they have thought I had Mild Aspergers Syndrome but was too worried to tell me without another opinion. I started seeing a private physciatrist and they confirmed this. This made my recovery so much easier. I now understood why I felt the way I did and why my thought proccess seemed to be so different from everyone else.Although a formal diagnosis is unlikely due to my age, I am at peace with the possibility that I do suffer from this and in a strange way it helps me understand that I am the way I am because of the Asperger syndrome and that’s okay.

Mental health isn’t talked about enough, it’s a part of life that most of us at some stage in our life will experience. So let’s talk about it as openly as we would talk about our favourite TV show or what we are eating for dinner. My mission is to normalise mental health and to change society’s outlook of it, and together we can do it.so talk to your family, friends, children and neighbours and spread the message that mental health is normal. Being mentally ill has made me a stronger and more motivated person that I could have ever imagined and for that I am proud. I am proud to be mentally ill.

Cheerio For Now,

Fern xx